Lite DePalma Greenberg & Afanador Law Blog

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A Lifetime Together—But Not on Paper: How New Jersey Law Left One Partner Without Protection After 30+ Years of Cohabitation

They built a life together for more than thirty years. They shared a home, shared bills, shared love, and shared loss. When Jacqueline Gibbons’ longtime partner, a disabled veteran, passed away, she did what any surviving spouse might do: applied for the property-tax exemption reserved for veterans’ surviving spouses. There was just one problem.
 

Ms. Gibbons and her partner were never legally married or registered their domestic partnership.

Today we are highlighting In Gibbons v. Borough of South Plainfield, No. 008190-2025, slip op. (N.J. Tax Ct. Oct. 8, 2025), where a New Jersey Tax Court reminds us that New Jersey does not recognize common law marriage.
 

Why the Gibbons Case matters

In an age where Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z, and LGBTQ+ couples are marrying later, or not at all, cohabitation has become the new normal. This trend reflects more than changing cultural values; it also stems from economic realities that make traditional milestones harder to reach. In New Jersey, where housing prices and the cost of living continue to rise, many couples choose to live together rather than marry, prioritizing financial flexibility over legal formality. Mounting student loan debt, delayed career stability, and the sheer cost of an engagement and wedding all contribute to the decision to postpone or forgo marriage altogether.

But as the Gibbons case makes painfully clear, freedom from marriage also means freedom from its legal safety net. As the court put it plainly: “The personal choice not to marry renders unpersuasive plaintiff’s contentions that she is harmed or subject to disparate treatment.”
 

The Case: Gibbons v. Borough of South Plainfield

The question presented was whether a woman who had lived with her partner for more than thirty years, but never married, could claim a Disabled Veteran’s Property Tax Exemption after his death.

Ms. Gibbons and her partner, a 100% disabled veteran, shared a home in South Plainfield for over three decades. They described themselves as husband and wife, shared expenses, and built a life together. When he died in 2021, Gibbons sought to continue the veteran’s total property-tax exemption under N.J.S.A. 54:4-3.30, which extends benefits to the “surviving spouse, civil union partner, or domestic partner” of a qualifying veteran.

The Borough denied her request, explaining that because the two were never legally married and had not entered a civil union or domestic partnership, she did not qualify under the statute. Gibbons appealed, arguing that her decades-long relationship should be recognized as the functional equivalent of marriage and that denying her the exemption would be inequitable.

Judge Mala Sundar, writing for the Tax Court, rejected that argument, holding:

• New Jersey abolished common law marriage in 1939, and therefore long-term cohabitation does not confer marital status or its legal benefits.
• The statute governing veteran exemptions is strictly construed and applies only to those relationships explicitly listed: “surviving spouse,” “civil union partner,” or “domestic partner.”
• The court could not expand the definition to include unmarried, cohabiting partners. It acknowledged the couple’s long relationship but emphasized that courts cannot rewrite statutes to reach equitable outcomes that the Legislature did not authorize.
• Nothing prevented the couple from marrying. The court rejected Ms. Gibbon’s argument that she and her partner never married because they came from different religious backgrounds, and marriage would have been unacceptable to their respective faiths. The court acknowledged the couple’s personal reasons for choosing not to marry but emphasized that New Jersey law provides no exception for couples who forgo marriage due to religious, cultural, or personal beliefs.   

In short, despite thirty years together, Ms. Gibbons was not entitled to her deceased partner’s tax exemption.

The case stands as a powerful reminder that New Jersey law still draws sharp lines between married and unmarried partners. No matter how committed or long-term a relationship may be, rights tied to “spousal” status, from tax benefits to property protections, require legal recognition through marriage, civil union, or domestic partnership.
 

The Hidden Pitfalls of Cohabitating

Whether you’ve been living together for 3 years or 30, the law draws a sharp line between cohabiting partners and married spouses. Some of the most common pitfalls of cohabitating include:

1. Benefit exclusions.

Without a marriage certificate or civil union, you aren’t a “surviving spouse” under most statutes. That means no guaranteed access to tax exemptions, employer benefits, survivor rights, pensions, and other spousal benefits.

2. Property and breakup risks.

Cohabitants cannot rely on divorce court to divide assets fairly. Unless you’ve signed a cohabitation agreement or titled property carefully, you could walk away with nothing, even after decades of cohabitation.

3. Estate planning gaps.

If one partner dies without a will, the other is not next of kin. That can mean losing the home, facing probate disputes with family, or being shut out of decision-making entirely.

4. False sense of security.

Years of shared life can feel “as good as” marriage, but the law doesn’t see it that way. The Gibbons case drives that home.
 

How Family Lawyers Can Help Unmarried Couples Protect Themselves

You don’t need to get married to protect yourself, but you do need a plan. A family lawyer who understands how New Jersey law treats unmarried relationships can help protect you. Here’s what our seasoned family law attorneys at Lite DePalma Greenberg & Afanador, LLC can do:

1. Draft a Cohabitation Agreement

A cohabitation agreement sets out how property, income, and expenses are shared during a relationship, and what happens if it ends. It can cover:

• Ownership of real estate, vehicles, and major assets
• Responsibility for household costs or debts
• What happens to joint purchases or savings if the couple separates

A cohabitation agreement can offer clarity and avoid costly disputes.

2. Define Property and Financial Expectations

Family lawyers can help couples establish clear property ownership (joint tenancy, tenants in common, or individual title) and financial arrangements that reflect reality. That clarity matters if one partner contributes more toward a home, mortgage, or business, or if family members become involved financially.

3. Protect Against “Palimony” and Support Disputes

New Jersey recognizes palimony (alimony between unmarried couples) only in very limited situations. All of the following factors are required:

·       The couple is not married.

·       The couple lived together.

·       There is a written palimony agreement or cohabitation agreement or other signed contract outlining a promise to provide financial support.

·       The person responsible for paying the palimony must have signed the agreement in good faith and without coercion.

Lite DePalma Greenberg & Afanador, LLC can ensure those agreements comply with the law and are enforceable.

4. Clarify Parental Rights

For LGBTQ+ and unmarried couples raising children, family attorneys can assist with custody, adoption, or parentage agreements, ensuring both partners’ rights are recognized regardless of biological or marital status.
 

The Takeaway from Gibbons

Thirty years of shared life weren’t enough to create legal protection in New Jersey. Contact us and our Family Law team, chaired by Lynn F. Newsome, a seasoned family law attorney, will help you create a clear, customized plan that safeguards your assets, finances, and future.